Why is self-compassion so difficult? If a friend came to us with advice or a mistake or an accomplishment or a question or even if they have food stuck in their teeth that you can’t stop staring at… well, what do we do as their friend? We help them out, no questions asked. Or maybe we’re even at the awareness stage that we do ask questions, like: do you need help/advice, or just for me to listen?
What we don’t do is make fun of them, put them down, or tell them to figure out their own crap. What we don’t do is tell them they’re dumb or “serves you right” or “I told you so”. What we don’t do is tell them to be less loud about their accomplishments, ideas, or sources of pride. What we don’t do is tell them they’re incapable of achieving the thing they’re passionate about or believe in.
So why are we so quick to do it to ourselves? Believing old narratives or believing those that don’t know us to somehow speak our truth for us? Why can’t we speak to ourselves like we do our closest friends? When something bad happens, something good, something sad, something joyful, something so tremendously exciting? Why aren’t we jumping up and down for ourselves, screaming, “Hell yes, I can!” Why aren’t we audibly gasping in the mirror, like, “Omg, I look amazing.” Why aren’t we putting a metaphorical (or literal) hand on our shoulder, saying, “Okay, this is hard, but I can get through this because…”
Some of us are doing this. And it shows in your glow. Some of us are starting to practice this and it shows in your smirk. Some of us are strangers to this and it shows in your eyes.
Be kind. Be patient. Be supportive and encouraging. Be your own best friend. Your best friends would want that for you.
And you’re worth it. My god, you’re worth it.
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